I became a member of this website this morning in hopes of finding someone that could help me. I have never met a group of people that are more kind, generous and sensitive but honest. I feel hopeless and lost. I am raising four children 2, 9,11,13. My husband is an HFA, which I am still in denial about myself sometimes. We have always had a wonderful relationship but when our two year old was born I had pretty bad postpartum and he always blamed himself because he says all he wants in life is my happiness and I was so miserable and depressed, I have since then been able to try and manage the feelings and emotions. He has always been a drinker but has always managed it very well, so well that up to this point I shrugged off the fact that he even had a problem. His drinking became more aware to me when he began wetting the bed occasionally, I would always clean it up and not one word was ever said about it. I would be soaked and he would seem ashamed but never say a word, but neither did I. Lately he's been drinking 5-6 vodka drinks a night. He acts ridiculous in front of the kids, starting arguments about my happiness.
He received a DUI about 3years ago and has neglected to take the required classes until now to get his license back. Of course I set them up bc he is at work so much. He lied at the assessment and said he only drinks when we go to dinner every couple weeks. His first class was today and although he was receptive he acted like it really didn't pertain to him or our family. He has a lot of anxiety and has claimed the drinking mellows it.
We are also catholic and his father was an alcoholic and died from it. Death Anniversary is March 3rd and on March 5th lent starts (a tradition in the catholic faith where u sacrifice something until Easter). My husband is giving up alcohol except for wine. Really?, is all I can say about that. I've tried to gently bring up side topics that would imply that I might think there is a problem but every time they are quickly diverted with an angry face from him or a reason as to why he is behaving or acting a certain way.
I'm sure at this point everything is confusing but any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you