Several months ago I would not have been able to reply to your thread. And it is still hard to gather my thoughts today.
I left her only recently. I am putting every part of myself back together. thank you for not prolonging the madness you could have gotten into. It has affected every area of my life - physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial (weekly or twice-weekly therapy visits for trauma I only recently acknowledged).
Finding this place has saved my life, I believe. I don't know where I'd be. It is a sad place, but there is hope now, and it is not nearly as dark a place as I was in worrying about her every second of every day. I still worry, and I feel I am living with her ghost. I feel wounded beyond my wildest comprehension but slowly picking up the pieces. You will too.