I'm a week into the end of my relationship - if I didn't find this place, I don't think I would have had the strength to end it and walk away. It becomes a matter of saving your own life - trust me, after only a year, I feel like he's stripped away the person I was and I'm now left to figure out how to piece me back together again. BUT, just one week out and I'm really starting to feel better and I can now see how very lucky I was to have the support I had to make the move I made. It could have gotten, and was getting, so much worse by the day. I feel, literally, like I took my life back because he was starting to own it.
I'm not saying that I'm not suffering through the fall out, because I certainly am. This last week was a tough one, but little by little, the fog is lifting and seeing things for what they really were is very enlightening.
He did choose alcohol over you, Sweetie. I'm so sorry for that because I know what a bitter, painful pill that is to swallow. It shouldn't be that way and God does it hurt like hell. But, they almost always do. That's the most important thing in their lives. Mine did as well, as did almost every one of our ex's on this forum. And you know what, there isn't a thing you can do about it although I know you want to. Trust me, I spent a year fighting this tooth and nail. I couldn't understand HOW he would rather drink than be with me. Just couldn't grasp that for any reason. Because it's wrong, it's not normal, but it is in their mind.
Please trust me when I say you'll be better off - this year has been the saddest, most heartbreaking, confusing upheaval of my life. It's awful, it's not fair, but such is a relationship with an addict.
Read this board, please - read the stories. I may not seem like it at first, but it will help you come to the realizations that you need to come to if you want to walk away with as few scars as possible. The only thing waiting for you in this relationship is pain and trauma, believe that. You deserve better.