You love who your husband usto be. He is not that same person anymore. I agree with the above post, allow yourself to grieve and move on from it. And no, you cannot blame an affair on alcoholism. The person who had the affair and has had children removed from their care is who he is now. Accepting that and letting yourself move through those stages of grief will help you. You will move on from it. I understand, I am a person who always wants to just jump in and get it over with. Life just does not work that way.
Alot of people on this forum have found great strength and peace in meditation and/or yoga.
Give yourself a break, relax and let yourself ride the waves of it all and know eventually you will find land again.
God Bless!