First I would like to tell you that you are not crazy . . . but, well, you know.
Let's try this? This stuff makes EVERYBODY Crazy. So welcome to the club. Yunno, probably if it did not, it would not be such a problem.
So you have probably have been to Alanon enough to hear something like YOU work on YOU? or something like that? Like probably every time you have been? If not, let's hit that part?
I go to al anon meetings sometimes
ahhh, I think I am getting a little insight into this, how 'bout you?
When you want to get serious, you can get seriously better. Your life, your choice.
You know this is all covered in there, right?
That you are feeling a little crazy just makes it that much better. Cannot be restored to sanity if you do not have crazy. SUPER! You are doing better than me, so I am a little jealous.
I had to get sent back to therapy to figure THAT ONE out.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Funny, no where in the ENTIRE Step Program did I see ANYTHING about kissing a Boyfriend. Might be in there, but I just checked. I do need new glasses, so maybe you will see it in there, or something. I would recommend looking.
As far as the Cheating This That Still Lubbing the A and a Boyfriend and . . . . ALL the rest . . . . I would suggest that maybe YOU Are Cheating . . . YOU.
Clean up and Fix up YOU. FIRST. And then your world will likely go right. Really Really Right. Like you will not believe. Or do not, and the muddled mess continues.