Welcome heresto. It doesn't sound as though you like your life very much at the moment.
So you have two options, either stay as you are or change something. You can definitely quit the alcohol if you really want to, just read some stories on here as proof it can be done.
I hope you can get some inspiration and hope here. Most people on here use either AA or AVRT to help or mixture of both. You can google AVRT to see if that may be of use to you.
I hope you stick around and get the support to quit the drink. All the best.