Hi, Fourmaggie! I, too, have a N in the family. It is my A sister. She has consistently shredded our family to pieces starting as a CHILD and is now in her 50's! Our parents have passed and she can't take it out on them anymore and can't use them against me anymore, so I've learned the fine art of going Low to No Contact. That is your "Silence is Golden"
I would go all out NO Contact with this Aunt. And plus... that just burns their BUTT when we do since they cannot control it. DO NOT... I repeat DO NOT ENGAGE. That is exactly what th classic Narc WANTS you to do only for them to shred you to pieces. If you must interact with this person (say, a family function such as a funeral), keep it professional and courteous and answer only when asked a direct question and DO NOT ENGAGE further. If asked how they are, just say "fine, thank you" without asking how they are. NPDs are such selfish individuals, doesn't it seem a perfect combo for them to become selfish alcoholics, too? Hang in there...