Originally Posted by
liarswife 
How do I respond to someone saying they're scared and they don't know what to do?? That they want to stop but cant, I feel like its just ********, if someone wants to stop they will do everything they can to stop when they are ready. They will at least try. Or does that not apply to addiction?
As a former alcoholic myself, I think you are right from my experience.
Nothing my husband said or did was going to stop my drinking until I chose to stop it. I had to take charge. So I did.
Many addicts need to not have things handed to them but to "earn" them. If the thing we understand as sobriety matters to him
he will seek it with everything he has. If, however, he can get you to buy into helping him / returning to the status quo, he may never
get clean.
You've made the right response--"It is up to you to get clean--I can't do it for you."
He must choose to stop or choose not to--it is truly out of your hands at this point.
You have a child to worry about. Your husband is an adult.
You have to take care of yourself, maintain a safe home, and keep sane and well not just for yourself but for your child's sake.
That trumps everything.
Hold the line and ((((hugs)))) in this difficult time.