Thanks Eggs and Ham
It's comforting to know Im not alone. I am at work now and b/c its no longer early morning and my mind has had time to wake up and return to reality..I am starting to feel sad again. I feel a major loss. I was not in a relationship for about 8 yrs before I met him because my last relationship was so horrible and the violation of trust took years to overcome. Then this young man came into my life and reminded me of myself and had this amazing smile and laugh that was contagious. He warmed my heart and I woke up in a sense. I needed him desperately. He was gentle, kind and affectionate. He didn't anger easily. He didn't make me doubt him or his loyalty. He was always there for me. I felt that he would always love me no matter what. (writing this is of course is making me sad and teary eyed..with a lovely lump in my throat... but I need to get this out.) These things I will miss. These things I lost.