Originally Posted by
hopeful4 
I am sorry, I did not mean to be disrespectful at all. I am alarmed that there is domestic abuse and that the pills are an excuse. I see many people here are SR that because their partner is an addict think it is ok to accept domestic abuse in their life. That is all I meant, that you don't deserve that.
I am so glad you have the order in place and that you have had the strength to do what is right for both you and your dear child. I know it is so hard when the family enables, the frustration is amazing to watch that happen. I don't have addiction either and even though I am educated about it I don't think my mind will ever really wrap around it. To watch those we love destroy their own lives is devestating.
I am sorry again if my post was disrespecful in any way. You deserve the best!
Have a blessed weekend!
Thanks for your support, I just wanted to clarify why the protection order was in place. Obviously the judge felt there was an issue or he wouldn't have continued it. Funny bc my AH acted out IN COURT so judge saw first hand his temper and how it can escalate. I feel it is directly related to a change in his demeanor bc domestic abuse didn't start until he started pain pills 3 years ago. It usually relates to me accusing or questioning about money, or why he is coming home after midnite, or why is he falling asleep etc. It seems everytime I was on to him and his lies and addiction, he would use the "distraction dance" (as I coined it) to distract and become angry to scare me into shutting up or backing off. As far as ever being able to wrap my mind around addiction, I am in the same boat with you. I have read educated myself and logically understand what is going on. I cannot truly empathize though bc I have never felt that out of control over anything. I wish him well and it will be a struggle for me to know he is out there hurting and ruining his life, but after 3 years I have begun to see that there is nothing I can do to make him stop. I cant love him enough I cant beg him I cant force him. He has to want it and do it for himself. I just hope he doesn't end up one of the ones who dies from this. its hard to know how someone used to be and how they are now, and be completely helpless.