ConfessionBear, I had some of the same things going on early on. I think I felt like when I was drinking, I couldn't really criticize, because I was drinking. When I stopped, I wasn't amused by the patterns I had let develop. I realized I could stop trying to "be good" all the time and just let go of some stuff and let my boyfriend pick up the slack (or not). Now, things are much more "even". We didn't have any big confrontations either-he probably knew he had a good deal before and didn't fight it lol