liarswife

So I posted awhile back about my AH abusing loperamide (Imodium) anti diarrhea pills. Apparently, its told to addicts to use loperamide to help with withdrawals from opiates, but it is highly addictive and an opioid itself. Just doesnt do much when u take as directed. But when u take a large amount, YES it can be abused and addictive and hell to come off of based on the research Ive done. So, YES, it is true, the suspicions were true, after I saw all the charges at Walgreens, almost $1000 a month, and his history of pain pill abuse for last 2 years had me aware of signs. Long story short, after many clogged toilets, mood changes, and just damn well knowing something isn't right, I found out the truth, A $50 a day habit (400 pills purchased a day). Well, luckily, I guess for me anyway, he flipped out and we had a domestic dispute a few weeks ago (before my proof was found about the loperamide) and he was arrested and a protective order issued in my favor. I had the order continued and he is not allowed in our house for a year. Partly bc he needs to learn a lesson, and mostly bc I just need peace in my home without addiction and he wouldn't leave on his own, not with a $50 a day habit he couldn't afford to! And domestic disputes have gotten progressively worse over the last 3 years, usually beginning with his mood and anger due to me accusing him of pills or lying or whatever rubs him the wrong way. So after he was safely out of the house, and I gathered my proof, I emailed and confronted him. I told him I knew what he was doing (even though he denied and denied before) and he responds with "help me". I told him I cant that he has to help himself. I have tried and its not my battle to fight. I don't want our 5 year old around it or exposed to domestic violence any longer. Of course he acts like the victim, I wanted him arrested blah blah, but I told him its all HIS doing. I felt strong but now I feel myself feeling sorry and he keeps saying he cant do it alone, etc, he needs help. Ive emailed him resources and stuff to help himself. How do you help from a distance without being codependent enabling or stupidly falling into the addict trap of lies manipulation and pity party??? I told him as long as hes actively using he will not be allowed in the house (I will not drop the protective order) due to his unpredictable behavior, and he has been sleeping in his truck (supposedly) at rest stop for 3 weeks...Its so hard to watch someone u love fall on their face, and act so pathetic, not try to help themselves and put it on you as if im the problem. The distance has been peaceful to say the least but I truly worry about him going crazy, suicidal (he has in past), and possibly overdosing or causing serious damage (organ or even worse, heart failure). I know he is not my child. I feel so helpless.