Lacy,
I understand your need to know, especially since he came from another state and what he is up to could potentially cause problems for you. He told you he did 90 in 90 but who is really to know? As you said he lies. I wouldn't put uo with ANY temper from him. you already did so you could just say..."That's Once" and leave it at that. You really don't need to snoop however. Somehow we always end up knowing what is up. More than we want to!
A teenager is one thing but he is a 29 year old man and you are doing him a big favor. Anything less than gratitude from him, to me, indicates that there is more there than he is saying.
I can say this because I rowing the same boat as you right now. The ONLY reason my son is here at all is because he is #1 sober and #2 grateful. If the wind shifts he will have to go...probably to a shelter. I will be here only as long as he keeps up forward momentum...with the goal being his own place.
A little about me...I have 10 years in Alanon and more years than that of this BS. My son was homeless most of last year. He got himself in a program and stayed in it and today...with God's help...he is doing well.
Alanon saved me from insanity when he was younger and this was all beginning. My mind was whirling, like yours is right now, and it wouldn't stop. Alanon will give you peace amid the storm if you work it.
Hugs,
JT