I feel your pain, Loose. You are suffering a double whammy: a breakup with someone you care about and makes you feel special, plus the emotional rollercoaster that is early recovery. Time eases both.
The most important thing is your recovery, staying sober. From that, all things good spring. You will feel so much better about yourself in a couple months. Perhaps then you can start thinking about a relationship...with an equal. A man. Not a man-child who still lives at home and can't hold a job and who in my opinion was mooching off you.