Hubby has bipolar and borderline personality disorder
Uh, oh.
A mood disorder coupled with addiction is bad enough. But when you add a character disorder on top of that...well, you're living it now.
The only thing I will say is the following: never, ever make a suggestion to someone with BPD. Because it doesn't matter how good your intentions are, what you say or suggest will never be the right thing.
CleaninLI has provided you a link regarding BPD. I would also check out a couple of books:
I Hate You...Don't Leave Me, and
Stop Walking on Eggshells.
Please, please keep us post as to how you're doing. As someone who knows, you should buckle up for this ride.
ZoSo