zoelu, she sounds totally out of control, and a bully. She's used to her rages intimidating you. Is your husband intimidated by them? If not, can you use him as support and present a combined front to her? Be prepared for the bullying and tantrums, but try and think of her as a spoiled child. Also better to say anything you have to say when she's sober.
Whatever you do, don't get into a confrontation with her when she's drunk and you're on your own.
If you can get her out, you may have to do the cleaning yourself, but it will be worth it. I'm not sure if she's been sober at any point, but is she mentally ill? The horrible mess you describe doesn't sound normal.