Hi SarahMaybe, i had to get into new habits, instead of isolating myself at home, i would go hang out with friends at sober events, and i made new sober friends at meetings. Have you started living any kind of recovery program, be it AA or something else? Isolation wont work for very long, as you noticed, b/c eventually we have to rejoin the land of the living, but what you can learn in a recovery program is HOW to live SOBERLY. Not just "not drink". I tried the "not drinking thing" for 6 months, and eventually picked back up b/c the obsession never left me. I had THE WORST anxiety attack of my life the night after i got drunk the first time, b/c i made alot of bad decisions that night too... and the pain of what i felt that next morning was something i didn't want to feel again...I'd like to tell you i got sober after that first drunk, but i'd be lying. I went back out for 14 months... and after all that time, I am still an alcoholic. I've only been able to stay sober these past 9 months with the help of my sponsor, sober friends, and having a program of recovery. I had NO idea how to live soberly before. I think coming to SR is a great first step, knowing you need help
Thats a big step. Keep coming back here, there's a ton of really great support.