I remember a time when I was exploring different types of therapy and I read about something involving language. I don't even remember what it was called, but it was about changing the words we use, especially the words we use in our mind, our "self-talk." The article I read explained that we tend to describe the things we want, or our "heart's desire" as you called it, as needs. We tell ourselves that we need things, when really we want them badly. So, if we can change our thinking from "need" to "prefer" we can lessen the pain of not getting it. It sounds a bit trivial on the surface, but it was a real epiphany for me. If I needed my husband to be sober, and I needed my marriage to work, I was devastated when those things didn't happen. But, if I preferred those things, but didn't need them, it was sad when they didn't happen, but not the end of the world. And, I've found that this small change in the way I look at things has made a major difference in my happiness.
L