You're not a young pup, you have a lot of life experience. Why do you need to understand it? There's plenty of stuff in life I don't understand, I just accept it for the truth that I have available to work with and go from there. Surely you've had the same experience in other situations? This can be hard sometimes, easy other times.
Above is my take on it, others may disagree.
I wish you well, Karate.
FG