I agree that there is never an excuse to behave in an abusive manner, but like the crosswalk analogy, for me, there is a difference between someone who accidentally mows down school children while they're drunk versus someone doing it in a sober state knowing exactly what they're doing and aiming for them. Even our legal system thinks there is a difference. The outcome is the same but the intent isn't. The intent matters because in one scenario I was collateral damage to his drinking, in the other it isn't collateral it was intentionally directed at me.