My insanity while drinking was that I knew booze made life hell, but I kept finding myself at the bottom of a bottle.
I remember when I had a sober spell, I used to tell myself how awesome I felt. Then, right back to the poison.
I have managed to string together 271 days. Couldn't have done it without AA. Not telling you what to do, just telling you what works for me.
One day at a time.