spiderqueen

What I witnessed with my XA, who never stuck with a program and never stayed sober for long, was that alcohol was the GO-TO substance for coping with everything in life. Not just pain, boredom & loneliness, but also joy. Depending on how long they have used alcohol, alcoholics truly NEED it to feel remotely normal, or in control. Even though to non-As, it looks more like loss of control when they drink.

I researched alcohol's effect on the brain, and learned as much as I could about addiction once it became clear that there was no way to make logical sense of what was going on with my A. This is why the affliction is often called "baffling". I encourage you to read and continue posting here - it's a long, hard road and you will need all the support you can get.