My husband looked and acted normal when he relapsed into cocaine. I couldnt tell he was using, he was still caring, empathetic, and coming home after work. He seemed stressed and preoccupied, came home later than usual but I had seen him do this before when he had a lot going on with his job. He was making all kinds of bad decisions at work ended up costing his company a lot of money and they had to pay out to avoid a lawsuit. He damaged our finances, made all kinds of irrational decisions. He wasnt functioning normally but no one saw it because he covered so well.
I think thats the point of it being a brain disease, people arent consciously choosing to make bad decisions, they cant see they are bad decisions or in their reality believe one more bad decision will fix it all. When it doesnt they have all these negative feelings of failure and go deeper into using.
Its not functional behavior, its hidden dysfunctional behavior.
Moments of lucid rational thought mixed with false beliefs that rule their thinking.
Philip Hoffman was functional to the outside world up until shortly before he died. He was supposed to pick up his kids and missed the time, thats how his body was discovered.
Th police found his journal with evidence he was filled with shame and guilt. "In penmanship that was often hard to read, Hoffman chronicled his descent into drug abuse, his attempt to control his dark urges by attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings and the shame he felt about drinking and taking drugs after so many years of sobriety. If the handwriting and run-on sentences are any indication, Hoffman was a tortured soul racked by painful guilt" (daily news online)
If he had been capable of understanding this happened because of the wiring of his brain, not left to think he was a failure for relapsing, or now had to label himself an addict carrying all that stigma associated with people believing addicts choose to keep using drugs, I wonder if it would have made a difference?
Amanda Bynes family did legally intervene and got conservatorship because of her mental heath and drug abuse issues. She ended up in long term treatment because of it, and since her release has moved home with her parents, and thanked them for intervening on her behalf.
Its like CleaninLI said, every situation is different and each one of us has to do what we think is best.