hopeful.....I too feel as if I'm a ghost looking through a dirty window. being married to my AH for almost 6 years the last place I thought I would be was here on this site looking to someone other than my husband for support. But here we are and I guess like with any other situation we have to set a clear boundary and decide on what our limits are. I also struggle with that and how to draw the line because my husband is still using and lying about it. That article about Philip Seymour Hoffman scarred me because I know that every person has a choice. llife is precious and we all deserve happiness.