I will not lie. I have a major issue with liars. I am sitting here now, drink in hand, bawling my eyes out and not knowing how to fix what I know needs to be fixed. In my past I have turned my nose down on alcoholics, obviously not understanding the severity or complexity of the problem at hand. I was probably an "alcoholic" early on in my young adulthood years...and more than likely, before that. It is the way I am.
To be perfectly honest, I love drinking, I love the temporary freedom of pain, responsibility, and honesty of being inebriated. But what I long for is the constant feeling of reassurance, accountabiliy for my actions and the HONESTY of being sober. This is my goal. this is what I long to achieve. Can I? I honestly do not Know. I hope so. And that is why I am here...