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help this desperate mom

Old 02-11-2014, 12:40 PM
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Question help this desperate mom

I will not lie. I have a major issue with liars. I am sitting here now, drink in hand, bawling my eyes out and not knowing how to fix what I know needs to be fixed. In my past I have turned my nose down on alcoholics, obviously not understanding the severity or complexity of the problem at hand. I was probably an "alcoholic" early on in my young adulthood years...and more than likely, before that. It is the way I am.

To be perfectly honest, I love drinking, I love the temporary freedom of pain, responsibility, and honesty of being inebriated. But what I long for is the constant feeling of reassurance, accountabiliy for my actions and the HONESTY of being sober. This is my goal. this is what I long to achieve. Can I? I honestly do not Know. I hope so. And that is why I am here...
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Old 02-11-2014, 12:43 PM
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You've come to a very friendly and supportive site. We are here to walk beside you on your sober journey. There's a lot of good info here. Take advantage of it.
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Old 02-11-2014, 01:44 PM
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Welcome. I know the feeling of looking down ones nose at alcoholics. I did it when I was already on a downward spiral. When I look back it was probably like self-hatred by proxy. In the end I really didn't like drinking and was just hooked. I hope you can find some answers looking around the forum. There are some very inspiring posts. xxx
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Old 02-11-2014, 01:54 PM
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Hi, Misti,
I'm new here, too, and also a "desperate mom." You sound like me - alcoholics are those other people, but could never be me. I'm finally realizing that it is. So here's to the both of us (and the many, many others) on here getting some support. I still haven't worked up the courage to start a thread, so I consider you brave for reaching out.
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Old 02-11-2014, 02:01 PM
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You CAN do it.....you just have to want it....and be ready....and be open to all suggestions... Don't begin recovery with a list of things you ARENT willing to do....
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Old 02-11-2014, 03:36 PM
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Do you want to give up completely? If you do then why not try with a recovery program that suits you. There are various programs xxxxx
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Old 02-11-2014, 03:46 PM
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Welcome Misti. I hope it helps to be here with us - we're glad you joined.
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Old 02-11-2014, 03:52 PM
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Welcome misti, fellow momma here of 2 little girls 8 and almost 5. I'm 10 months sober and would never have guessed that was possible when I was standing in your shoes. I too loved the "freedom" of responsibilities my wine gave me, BUT, I never really was free I was just ignoring those responsibilities while wishing to be invisible.

Give yourself this gift, let tomorrow be your day 1. While there will be hard times, I promise you the positive return outweighs the bad. You get an opportunity to be the you, you ought to be!

Welcome!
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Old 02-11-2014, 05:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Misti2014 View Post
I have a major issue with liars.
Me too. Unfortunately, I have one living in my head. That voice that tells me next time will be different, one more time won't matter, you can never feel OK without booze, just a few drinks this time...
Lie after lie after lie. Lies that I used to believe and that very nearly wrecked my life. Lies that nearly killed me. The voice of my addiction to alcohol.

I'm getting the last laugh on that SOB, though. I am starving it.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!
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Old 02-11-2014, 06:06 PM
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you can totally do it, Misti....

you can. You're gonna have to fall out of love with drinking though.

From the sound of things, this is going to happen to you sooner or later. So... you have a choice. Do it NOW and start going after those feelings you say you long for (which sobriety promises).... or wait until that love of drinking has enslaved you to your breaking point and then claw your way out of that despairing place (hopefully) before it ruins your life and maybe kills you.

We're here for ya... and for my vote, I vote "CHOOSE SOBRIETY NOW!!!"

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Old 02-11-2014, 06:12 PM
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Welcome misti, you are not alone. Everyone here has felt what you are feeling in one way or another. Drinking is a vicious cycle and the one way to get out of it is to stop. Just wake up tomorrow and decide you will not drink. Keep it going and before long, you will notice changes in yourself and your thinking that you thought were impossible.
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Old 02-11-2014, 06:42 PM
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I sure didn't understand much about alcoholism, especially the denial involved in the disease. Yes, you can do this and you can be the person and the mom you want to be.
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Old 02-15-2014, 10:03 PM
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I feel alone tonight. I can't do this. He will not talk with me. if I am going to be sober I have to leave. I just don't know how
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Old 02-16-2014, 01:50 AM
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You can do this. You have to want to be sober more than yo uwant to drink.I don't know the circumstances of your family situation but your sobriety isn't dependant on what someeone else does or doesn't say or do. You CAN do this, just have to find a program of recovery that suits you
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Old 02-16-2014, 02:06 AM
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Welcome,

It seems you realized that it begins with you Misty, you can do this!!

Matt
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