Although they're are many factors that contribute to problems with alcohol and addiction...for me much of it was my own core of unease, anxiety, low self worth, insecurity. Your title drew me to your post. Sobriety offered me the only opportunity to start getting to know myself and gaining sovereignty over my own being. I was a tyrant of a task master on myself..never good enough..nothing was enough and an absolute sadist in my ability to kick myself when down. Job 1 was learning to talk to myself with love and compassion...becoming a friend rather than an enemy of my self.
I am still a work in progress but learning to inhabit myself hospitably could not have been achieved without therapy. I know that previously drinking allowed me to escape my own cruel mind...it provided peaceful relief from the stress and anxiety of being me.
In order to gain mastery over addiction, you must gain mastery over yourself.
Quit hating yourself...please.