ok, I discussed home school with him and the option of changing schools. He didn't like either of those ideas. When we moved here he immediantly got involved with the schools baseball team through my brothers wifes son. Her son is a year older then him and very "popular" so my son was in heaven. For a couple of months he was hanging out with these boys and going places with them and working out every day with the team.
I don't know what happened but they all stopped inviting him places and eventually stopped talking to him. He continued to work out with the team every day and has gotten in amazing shape. When I would pick him up none of the boys would say good by or even look at him but he continued to go in hopes of making the team. Try outs were a few weeks ago and he did not make it but was asked to be the team manager. I was not surprised...hes a new kid, these kids have been playing ball together for years and there were not a lot of spot open. Im sure he will make the team next year for his senior year but he was disappointed. I think he tried to hard to impress the kids with the whole "Im the tough California kid" and they got sick of it. Even with all of this he does not want to give up being involved with the team. He is immature even for his age on top of being a stubborn teenager and didn't really care to listen to anything I said when I told him to kind of take it easy and just go with the flow at first, let them get to know you a bit. He has developed a habit of lying a lot and is really inappropriate with girls ...we have had problems with that a few times...he was in IC for a year after his dad told him he wanted a divorce and after he found out about the other woman. It didn't help..he refused to even talk...I wonder if I should try again , I don't know.....
We were talking the other day and he told me he saw a sign at school that they have an Alannon Alateen meeting there and I asked him if he would like to go. He went to Alateen before we moved about a year ago. I told him he had to go to 6 meetings and if he didn't like it then he didn't have to go. He stopped after the 6 and didn't want to go back so him bringing this up on his own was great!! he is going to find out when it is and Im hoping we can go ..my schedule is crazy and I work a lot of nights.
I had begun to think this alcoholic thing was a none issue...he knows his dad is sober..(althought he makes comments along the line of not believing him) and has never mentioned it or wanted to talk about it. He says he has no memory of his dad from before the age of 13. That is strange to me ...his dad and I separated when he was 13. before then we lived in the same house for 15 yrs. Had bdays his dad coached his baseball team (he says he remembers that) and I thought we had a decent life all be it his dad drank every day. but at the very least we made memories..???? The fact that he brought alateen up tells me maybe it is still an issue.
I am rambling....Ive been up since 2am worrying and trying to come up with some kind of solution. I have tried to reach out to his dad but the olive branch comes back pretty mangled every time I have tried that. Im still hurt over how this all ended. We may have had a rocking marriage the last 5 or so years before we separated but I don't think I deserved to find my husband in our bed with another woman. I was resentful and fed up but I never did anything in our entire marriage to deserve that. at the very least I am the mother of his only son...He could have ended it with a lot more respect and maybe things wouldn't be so bad now.... I don't know, seems to me a true recovered alcoholic would go through the steps and make his amends. He seemed to have stopped at step 4 and that's when he stopped going to meetings as far as I can tell. I certainly was never approached or had any kind of discussion about all the years of his drinking and how that effected myself and my boys.
ok....I obviously need some sleep...Im making no sense...thanks for listening,,,
