Hi Hammer,
In response to Ladyscribbler's post about why your 11 year old daughter is compelled to manage her mother's moods, I would like to comment that it sounds like, from your previous posts, that she may have been passed down the engineering gene from you, that makes her study and evaluate life as it happens around her. My RAH is an engineer. I've heard the expression that "engineers are a different breed".
Obviously, we don't know your daughter at all, except from what you choose to share with us. She sounds very wise to me. One might believe that she should not be burdened with a dysfunctional parent, however, who among us can say that we have not burdened our children by our own choices whether or not the situation relates to an alcoholic.