Originally Posted by
ladyscribbler 
Had to think about for awhile, and as usual, Daughter is correct. Turns out she has developed a whole new array of tools for Managing Mom -- WAY beyond Alateen, developed from her own studies while being the Social Scientist of the 6th Grade Class.
I have been watching her run test cases on it for the past couple of months without even knowing it.
OK, I hate to beat a dead horse, but I will anyway.
Beat away. Nothing worse than the (me) morons who come here looking for advice and then refuse to take it. Funny -- the way that mirror works. It seems real clear to me when I see you all do that.
I also grew up "managing" the unstable adults in my life. I know she's in Alateen, and that you're really working to put your kids first here. I respect that, but why is an 11 year old compelled to manage/dodge her mentally ill mother's moods? Yeah you guys are getting really good at detecting and deflecting it, but it's still there.
Hear you Real Loud and Real Clear.
With the T's parting questions, last week, I could see the Heavy Bombers forming up on the horizon and heading towards my location.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4450777
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She had some of the same questions as here --
Q: If splitting the house is best for the kids, am I prepared to do that?
A: Yes (and, yes, I know some of you will be pleased to hear that).
Q: If the new agency (National Rehab) catches on that Mrs. Hammer is not quite right, what happens?
A: Nothing to us. We are not relying on any money from it (I pay all the bills).
Q: Do I understand that there may be no "good" outcome from this?
A: Yes.
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I understand that you all want your family unit to remain intact. Would Mrs. Hammer have any compassion for this? Is there a way you could approach her without setting off the trip to Crazytown? If you went to her and said "Baby, I love ya, but your crazy is royally f-ing our kids out of their childhoods because they are having to do X, Y and Z to cope with your bs." (Maybe with a touch more diplomacy than I've mustered here).
Nice thoughts. Would most likely just draw fire onto Daughter by tipping off her location and tactics, as well.
Wishing you the best, no matter what. Thanks for posting.
Understood. Thank you.