Reading these posts is making me incredibly emotional. I can't even express my gratitude for such support from complete strangers...I have truly felt alone in this struggle. I have been trying to "cut back" on my drinking for a few months now, with some marginal success. I let go of the crowd that I had been hanging out with, realizing that our entire friendship revolved around alcohol. I thought that by isolating myself it would be easier to quit, after all if you don't have anyone to go out with you won't. And it has lowered the frequency of my intake but the fact remains the same: I can not drink in moderation. I can not have one glass of wine. I can't. Because if I do I will need another. Isolating myself has only made me more vulnerable, I'm lonely and sad, I self medicate and then I can't stop. I'm tried of lying to myself.
Thank you all for the kind words. I am so happy to have stumbled upon such a great online resource. I am proud of myself for standing up for myself, realizing that I do deserve to healthy. I sincerely hope that this time will finally be different.