Compassion is a lot like detachment it is not so much "for" the person as the situation. It is a tool by which I am able to let go my Expectations. I have compassion for the child who suffers from Down Syndrome, but I need not take on the problems of that child. I need not go on a crusade for all the preventative measures that can be taken against birth defects. I need only be compassionate that the child who suffers from the defect has certain limitations & faces certain challenges that the average child does not.
My expectations must be reasonable. Compassion is the companion of love but a separate dog from it all together, just like empathy. I have compassion for those who suffer in any form, from cancer, addiction hunger or illiteracy.
This does not mean I drown because there is another drowning, It means if I have a life raft I throw it out to him, IF I do not have a raft and am not a lifeguard..I may attempt to go for help, if I have a reasonable expectation that some is nearby. I do what I am capable of doing, but not at the expense of my own life nor my children's or another.
If I throw the raft and have sought help and the person refuses to take it..and he drowns. I have done all I can do. I need not engage in regret. My compassion is still in tact and available for those left behind to go on living..which may just include myself.
The Serenity Prayer is a helpful tool and the Wisdom to know the difference..is an often overlooked part. I have prayed for wisdom to know what I can change..and actually there were more things I COULD change than what I had to accept. I just did not like some of the choices nor changes I needed to make. So I did not have so much of a problem as I did a solution I did not like. THAT was the part I had to accept.
