Let me ask you this, what if it isn't abuse and you just flat out don't like being lied to?
Regardless if it's abusive or not it doesn't validate/invalidate your feelings of hating the lies. My AH lies to me too, but I don't think his lies are because of ME, his lies for him and they serve his purposes of making himself feel whatever way he needs to feel in that moment of deceit. Even when he lied to other people about me it was never really about ME (although I made him go back and tell our friends and family that he was a liar and that kind of made me feel better or at least push it to the back of my mind.)
If your wife is telling your kids lies about you though, that's a completely different ballgame and yes, I would definitely label that as abuse towards you AND your kids.