"I pointed out that if she would *just* cover some of her own bills it would be helpful. Such as her phone. Upshot -- we put her phone on her own account. Probably saves me about $500 to $800 per year. This is like dealing with a teenager-for-life.
[but see, now my Compassion is slipping again. ]"
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Hi Hammer,
See, this passage of yours above is where I get in trouble with the word compassion. I don't think your compassion is slipping. (OK, and maybe you were joking? But with a core of truth?).
I think you are navigating a crazy set-up. And you are used to this craziness. Why doesn't she have to pay her way?
To put it another way, would it be more compassionate for your kids (your priority #1) to force her to pay more of the expenses? Might you all benefit from that? Where does more compassion for her mean less compassion for your kids and yourself? (Not just in this instance of finances, but overall in family life).
I think that's one of the tightropes people around here walk. Too much compassion starts to take up territory that we need for ourselves. That's a reason this is such a hot-button issue?
Also, on the question of lying as abuse--it may not be intended as abuse, but if you experience it that way, its good enough for me!
Ok, this is getting garbled. A clear sign I need to go out and shovel the (seemingly) endless supply of snow
