421, are you still planning to see a therapist on your own? Maybe it would be good to talk in therapy about setting boundaries? It sounds like you are at a point where you know you're happier when you're not interacting with him but you can't quite figure out how to avoid getting sucked in to his shenanigans. It's true what you say, that you can probably never get rid of him completely because you have children together, but you can certainly find ways to minimize contact. It might also be useful to talk to a lawyer, if you feel like you want a legal separation and to set some guidelines for when and how he can contact you or spend time with the kids? FWIW, my AXBF was also a rage-aholic, and at one point he offered to try "anger management." I remember telling this to my therapist, who has been in practice for a couple decades and whose opinion I respect a great deal, and her reaction was "anger management doesn't work." I'm sure others might disagree, but in your husband's case it really doesn't sound like he is in control of his anger. Good luck!