This is week 4 of living separately..
AH made the weekend completely miserable. He would not let up, kept calling and texting me, having arguments and trying to push me into admitting it is my fault he isn't living at home.
He actually said that I am responsible for his behaviour. Then he reconsidered, and said I was at least partially responsible for his behaviour. Then he reconsidered that too and said that I am responsible for making him the monster that he is.
AH's father even showed up at my door to tell me I am a liar, and accuse me of abusing my children. AH threatened to call my Mommy on me, and tell her what a bad person I am. He also threatened to tell her about my previous drug use, and drag other members of my family through the mud.
At one point AH would not stop yelling at me over the phone, and I explained to him he was not staying calm, and he was making me upset, and I would not continue the conversation. i had to hang up on him. He started calling back over and over. After about 25 minutes straight of the phone ringing, I answered it and told him I was not going to have another argument, I gave him several minutes of telling me what a bad person I am, and then hung up on him again. He Continued calling, we went another round, and then I blocked his number, so he started calling from another number . .... he called for over 2 hours straight, and I was honestly afraid that he would come to the house, do something stupid, cause another sceen or try to take the kids.
TERRIBLE WEEKEND
And then once again, someone flipped a switch, and he is back to being calm, able to at least be civil, and saying how much he wants to work things out.
He also had to admit that he has only been to 4 anger management sessions, since he had to give me the receipts to claim through insurance. So that is more lies.
He says his behaviour on the weekend was the only way he could think of to try and make me take him back.
So, I think making a schedule is a good idea. I am sticking to my plan that if he wants to see them, he comes to the house, and his parents can come to the house if they can mind their P's and Q's. AH's mother is his biggest enabler, and I have heard her in the background on the phone over and over, feeding him horrible terrible mean vicious things to say to me, and laughing when he says something hurtful. I am not allowing my children in the room with her without me there to protect them from her words.
I feel like it would be nice to be able to run away and never have to deal with any of this, but of course that can never happen.