FireSprite

I know, this is the part that makes my head spin... that & being trapped living with 3 abusers who lie & cover for each other constantly. I initially did not understand why when the rape happened to her at age 7, she did not feel safe going to anyone at all. It makes perfect sense now. SO many things about my mother make absolute, perfect sense now. Hearing her talk of the years of ongoing nightmares & fears makes me shudder.... now her unexplainable aches & pains & epileptic episodes make so much more sense as well.

It really is amazing how our own recoveries can affect those around us. In my earliest days of recovery it was just freaking HARD. Every time I stood up for myself it challenged those used to the old ways & every single conversation became an energy draining challenge. So many times I would just lie on my back deck on my yoga mat & weep because it was so isolating to know I was doing the right thing for myself & yet be met with selfish, narrow-minded, energy vampires who acted like I was now Enemy #1 because I dared define a boundary in my own best interests.

I have been doing some research on "Ancesteral Healing" which puts forth the idea that by healing forward (our children) we help heal backward (our mothers). So every time I make a conscious decision to change the pattern for DD & push back, my own Inner Child & mother (etc) benefit as a result.