Dear Insaneshame, When I read your response tears came to my eyes because although I have had some supportive responses yours was the first from someone who seems to have walked in my shoes. My car also was totaled because I gave it to a "friend" to go get us more meth. I too remember, vividly, wrapping my pipe in newspaper, taking a rock and repeatedly smashing it in a symbolic jester of pulverizing my addiction. That was 8 months ago. I understand that addiction is addiction but sometimes I feel like recovering meth addicts are looked down on by other addicts. That's probably just the remnants of my paranoia but honestly, that's how I feel sometimes. I think it's hard for people to understand how losing the love of your life can put an arrow through your heart and how it changes you forever. Thank you so much for touching me and letting me know that their are others who have walked my path and have made it to the other side. Take care always!