Hi Anoronha
I am going to just throw this out there because it took me a while to realize why I hung on to resentments and once I identified why it helped them to go away. I think that anything that might shed light on a situation is worth sharing. Nothing is lost even if what I say is not the case.
What got me thinking was this:
Resentments that I thought had gone away honestly against my parents have popped up again.
Resentments, anger, sadness, and depression are all rocket fuel for addiction. You might have worked on making amends and forgiving yourself but there's nothing that can erase the past from your brain. All that you can do is to find comfort in the fact that you've done what you can to make things right. At any given time those stored thoughts can creep back in and usually it's the AV coming to call. It doesn't matter how happy you are being sober, it was the same for me. Completely content yet there would be these days when I felt angry at my husband for something in the past or mad at myself for things that I had done.
Using the sobriety tools that I have helps me to look inward and further than just the surface value of what I'm feeling. So I would ask myself "What is this really all about?" I had done the work, what I needed to do, and I was all of a sudden upset about it again. Well, in finality, what I found was that it had nothing to do with what I thought I was upset about rather the AV stepping in and finding ways to entice me.
We will invent reasons to be angry or resentful if need be. If everything is good and we don't care about drinking and nothing is up then all those little tidbits that can never be erased will find their way back. This is regardless of whether or not we made amends.
If you honestly thought that a resentment went away and all of a sudden it's popped up again why do you think that is? It's the AV throwing what it can at you to make you think about drinking and it's worked. However, you've done what needs to be done, you came here and posted. You know that you need to deal with this in a healthy way or you're going to drink.
Coming here is very healthy
You can get past this. Recognize those feelings for what they are. You've done what you needed to do and they're nothing but a worthless attempt by the AV. YOU CAN DO THIS.