Dee, we haven't met before. I'm fairly new to the sight but it has helped me a lot to know that I'm not alone. It's good to let it out, it's good to cry. You do deserve better. My A partener and I will be "celibrating" our 20th anniversary this year for over 6 years she has been an A. For over 4 years we have had almost no sex. You and I
both deserve better. I wish you peace and something better. Take care.