I truly do understand. While my husband is working hard toward sobriety and making strides, I don't really feel it anymore. It's too late. One of the things I have heard over and over is children of addicts so many times end up resenting the parent who did not leave. They resented how they became and the strife in the house much more so than the alcoholism itself. I keep this in mind all the time.
I do suggest the other forum, it's a great place over there!