Trying
Hawkeye13,
I have already started doing things like you suggest such as opening my own checking and savings account and I stopped direct deposits into the joint savings account by my employer and transferred the direct deposits into the account in my name only. My next step is to change the direct deposit from the joint checking into the checking in my name.
Leaving isn't so easy for me. Mainly because of the kids. Do I just take them and leave? How do I explain that to them? Do I just leave the house behind with my name attached to it? There are so many variables that are too lengthy to explain here.
It would be so much more cut and dry if he was abusive to me or the children. The reason for leaving would be clear. Not that I am wishing that on myself. But to my husband, he thinks his alcoholism is simple and there's nothing wrong with him drinking "a few beers" every night to relieve stress because he still takes care of his responsibilities. He drives the kids to the school bus, washes the dishes or does his laundry or coaches my son's basketball team. Meanwhile, our relationship is deteriorating and since there aren't any consequences to face he just keeps going on status quo making me appear that I'm making a big deal about something trivial.
Anyway, I just wish it wasn't so complicated and I wish I wasn't so afraid to make a choice.