Sad
Ruby2, thank you for sharing your story and yes, it does sound very familiar. As I read back through my babbling posts I realized that I sound like a raving lunatic who is desperate. That's not me but that's who I've become in this situation. And that makes me Sad.
I don't like who I've become and want to get back to the real me. I don't think I should make any radical changes in my life until I've gotten a true handle on who I am again.
I don't want my children (10 and 12) to believe that how I treat my husband is acceptable and on the flip-side I don't want them to think that what my husband is doing is acceptable either.
I feel confused about what the right decision should be and until I'm not confused about that anymore I am going to continue attending meetings and continue doing what I feel is positive in my life. I can't allow his negativity to dictate or control my happiness anymore.
Thank you Least and sugarbear1 I will try your advice and hope that through step work and attending meetings I will figure out what my next step should be.
Stay tuned...