Welcome to SR! You're certainly in a tough spot. Is there any way you can leave with the kids and live elsewhere? If he were in the home and not paying for it he'd have to move out if the bank foreclosed on it.
I don't know what else to suggest other than keeping up with AlAnon meetings and the support you find there. We also have a forum just for people in your situation. Post your questions there for more insight from people who have walked in your shoes.
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