I am so sorry. I just want to say I hope you get individual counseling for you separately. You need a plan to leave safely. What you are experiencing is ABUSE. If it is not already directed to your child it will be eventually. It has to be a miserable existance.
Please keep yourself safe. This type of a person can explode into physical violence. Don't take this for anything other than what it is, ABUSE.
Please get counseling, go to meetings and keep you and your children safe.
Also, be prepared to have him say anything, he will manipulate you to get you to stay. Don't do it. Don't listen to words, take a look at his actions over a very long period of time. Change your locks when you separate.
God Bless.