Hey, have not visited in a while.
Good to see you doing gooder.
As far as the Order of the March.
Here is mine --
1. The Kids. Kids are the #1 Priority. None of the kids are named Mrs. Hammer, so I know she is not a #1 Priority.
2. Me. Learned that in Alanon. Since I do the kids thing as #1, I have to take care of me to ensure that #1 stays #1. Mrs. Hammer is not named "me," so again, not a priority.
What I have figured out -- A's are actually FAR More Resourceful than we may think -- They manage to get their Drug of Choice ALL ON THEIR OWN, no? Turns out they can do a LOT of things on their own. Including Sobriety if they so choose.
I propose we let them.
Good on you for taking care of the kids and you.