Rosie, I am so so sorry it is going that way.
I have also had very negative experiences in court.
I have been a stay at home mother for 18 years. I gave up my career for xah's and to raise the children. I nursed them each for years, I grew and cooked nourishing organic food, I nurtured and homeschooled at times, was the chair of the school committee, made the home beautiful and peaceful.
These lawyers and judges have no idea what is important for our children to grow up strong, healthy and happy. They have no respect or appreciation. They. Don't. Care.
They look at calendars. They split visitation according to their formulas. They go have lunch and gossip with friends. They don't want to get in trouble by denying the children access to their fathers and they don't want to ignore anything catastrophic. They want to cover themselves.
They think all the divorcing adults are to blame and at least 30% are crazy. I heard this from a mature divorce lawyer.
Once I saw the lay of the land, I was able to not take court decisions as personally.
It is a horrible world in those courthouses.
God is with you, but court is a very bad place.
I hope you can find some joy today anyhow. Treat yourself with extra love and care. You have every reason to be upset.