I think when you feel whole, feel happy and secure with yourself you attract a similar whole person so the relationship is a healthy one and you both enhance each other together.
When one does not feel secure or happy with themselves they will attract similar and then you have two broken people looking towards the other to make them feel whole and secure and happy.
If we are not comfortable with ourselves, think we are fat or ugly we will constantly be looking at our broken partners to tell us we are not fat and that we are pretty. Make us feel wanted and secure. But the other broken person is unable to full fill our needs because they have too many of their own needs they cannot fill.
Feelings and emotions are what addicts/alcoholics run from and what Codie's need the most from the partners they pick- constant validation to fulfill the insecure void.
Thus the old saying.......don't go to the hardware store for bread.
Making ourselves whole is our true way to happiness and healthy relationships.