I borrowed this from another thread, because it shows the patterns of codependent behaviour. People can have these tendencies, whether or not they love an addict, or are one, or have no substance issues in their life.
Hope it helps clarify a little.
CHARACTERISTICS OF CO-DEPENDENT
1. My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you and receiving approval from you.
2. Your struggles affect my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain.
3. My attention is focused on pleasing you, protecting you, manipulating you to "do it my way".
4. My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems and relieving your pain.
5. My own hobbies and interests are put aside. My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.
6. Because I feel you are a reflection of me, your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires.
7. Your behavior is dictated by my desires.
8. I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel. I am not aware of what I want. I ask you what you want. If I am not aware of some thing, I assume.
9. The dreams I have for my future are linked to you.
10. My fear of your anger and rejection determine what I say or do. In our relationship, I use giving as a way of feeling safe.