Sounds like you put a lot of pressure on you. I don't do AA but do like their insights one of which is to keep things simple. 50 days is fantastic but maybe you are expecting too much of yourself. When I decided to be sober my only goal was not to drink by any means necessary. If that means lots of nail polish, reading blogs, going to bed at 6 pm, staying away from stressful people or situations, tuning out, eating carbs, so be it. If it takes 50 days or x amt of time to get out of my little sobriety shell, ok, I accept that. I'm at 120 days now and it's a different experience than 50 days. And it's better. Don't feel bad or have any guilt about your feelings, just be damn proud of yourself!